You know how you sometimes just HAVE to whine and complain about something, (or someone) you know, A SITUATION and your darling spouse immediately comes up with a list of suggestions and observations that you DON'T NEED?
Usually, just having a good whine and complain is all you need, right? Problem solved. Well, here is a communications/whining/ranting technique that I have discovered, and am thinking of patenting.
1) Wait until your beloved is shaving. Good and lathered up. This makes it difficult for him to begin to say anything.
2) Undress. Get into the shower. You now have his attention. BUT, his hands are full of shaving cream and razor, so he can't do anything. HA!
3) Now, ladies, the shower is your STAGE! The shower curtain is your CURTAIN! Unleash your inner actress, and rant and whine to your hearts content. Use your hands, gesticulate, EMOTE! Talk until you are all done, making good use of the way a bathroom makes your voice LOUD and stuff.
4) End with a flourish. Bow, say "Thank you and goodnight! I'm here every Wednesday!" and close the shower curtain with a snap. Turn on the shower. Notice that the conversation is OVER, and dearest hubby has not got a word in edgewise. He is still standing there, razor in hand. Neat, huh?
5) IF he is mad enough at this point to try to administer logic and advice to your ex-situation, (notice it is no longer a "situation"), simply start to sing very loudly. "OOoohh, myyy loooove, my darlinggg, I hunger fooor your touch...." And he will forget what he was going to say.
Make sure you have a half hour or so to spare before you try this!
Usually, just having a good whine and complain is all you need, right? Problem solved. Well, here is a communications/whining/ranting technique that I have discovered, and am thinking of patenting.
1) Wait until your beloved is shaving. Good and lathered up. This makes it difficult for him to begin to say anything.
2) Undress. Get into the shower. You now have his attention. BUT, his hands are full of shaving cream and razor, so he can't do anything. HA!
3) Now, ladies, the shower is your STAGE! The shower curtain is your CURTAIN! Unleash your inner actress, and rant and whine to your hearts content. Use your hands, gesticulate, EMOTE! Talk until you are all done, making good use of the way a bathroom makes your voice LOUD and stuff.
4) End with a flourish. Bow, say "Thank you and goodnight! I'm here every Wednesday!" and close the shower curtain with a snap. Turn on the shower. Notice that the conversation is OVER, and dearest hubby has not got a word in edgewise. He is still standing there, razor in hand. Neat, huh?
5) IF he is mad enough at this point to try to administer logic and advice to your ex-situation, (notice it is no longer a "situation"), simply start to sing very loudly. "OOoohh, myyy loooove, my darlinggg, I hunger fooor your touch...." And he will forget what he was going to say.
Make sure you have a half hour or so to spare before you try this!
Comments
Also, any sentence that starts with sex will perk their ears up a bit too.
Well played, my dear!